FESTIVAL MUMMAS

In celebration of Mother’s Day we caught up with some of our fav festival mummas at Bluesfest {will never stop dreaming about that pink piano!} to talk through motherhood. All long time friends of Spell, from supermodel Nicole Trunfio, to Aussie icon Kasey Chambers, the ever-inspiring Helen Janneson Bense to our very own co-founder and designer Spelly. As entrepreneurs, creating and travelling the world we asked how they juggle it all. Read their interviews below…

Nicole Trunfio

In what ways has Motherhood changed your outlook on life?

There were so many things I didn’t know, and now realise many women don’t know them either. I decided to start writing a book to bring some things to light. I had a near death, epically painful experience with my first, I had to have multiple surgeries afterwards. I was told to seek a lawyer to launch a malpractice case, which is so not me. The lawyer asked me to start a diary of the events so we could document everything properly, and within this process I found the healing I needed. My experiences were so outrageous and unheard of that I actually found humor in the story. I decided that this was my way to heal and not to get justice in the court system. Also if I could share my story and knowledge with other women so they could avoid my experiences. It’s quite a page turner and a funny read too. My daughter was a complete opposite experience, which even though was not meant to add to the story, has now added to it. So it’s well rounded and two very opposite sides to see. I am almost done, it’s been hard managing a business, modelling, being a mother and touring with my husband, but I will get it out to the world soon enough!

What is the difference between one babe, and now having two babes?

Baby number two is quite a walk in the park, because you have done all the firsts and the learning already. I LOVE having a second child, it makes my family feel more complete and more of a unit. My son also now has someone to play with, actually more like make trouble with. They love each other so much, watching their bond grow stronger every day makes me melt.

You built a business whilst having Zion as a bub and through your pregnancy with Gia – how did you juggle it all? 

I don’t really know, I had a deep and old love, maybe from a past life. I have had three different people say I was Cleopatra in a past life, maybe that is where my obsession for gold and diamonds comes from. I knew I needed to act on that and bring my vision to life. I see jewelry as a way to empower women, energetically. Yes, there is the material aspect of it, but in ancient times, these precious metals and stones were valued for their energy and frequencies. We have just started doing piercing parties around the world, I love being able to meet people and sharing an experience with them, we help people curate their ears. We are planning dates in LA, NYC and a tour around Australia at the moment. You can also shop the party online if you cannot make the event! www.erthjewelry.com I think all in all, this passion nurtured my creative side, which gave me so much more energy to put into being a mum. 

What do your usual days look like? 

Wake up at 6, get the kids breakfast and ready for school. Drive my truck an hour into the city, drop my son off at Montessori school, hit up my office, get work done! Hit the gym. Pick my son up! Either hang out with friends at a local Austin swimming hole or drive back to our ranch and swim there. Make the kids dinner, bath, bedtime routine. Pour some wine, cook my husband an epic meal, play music, chat… work on my book and wind down for the eve. Wake up and do it all again. Sometimes we go on tour with him, sometimes I am out for modelling gigs, keeps it interesting.

What is the best part about being a mum? 

Definitely the hugs and kisses and unconditional love you feel for your babies. Their little laughs, their deep mysterious gaze, discovering all about them, their feelings, and every thought… Seeing yourself in them, the impact you can make and how you can shape them into bright, brilliant, kind human beings.

What is the most challenging?

How exhausting it is, we give so much. I never thought something could make me fall into bed at night with all my clothes on, exhausted from the day. Im like the energizer bunny, nothing can stop me… Except motherhood. After the day is done I am a complete brick. I pass out, and do it all again the next day.

What advice would you give yourself before having kids from what you know now?

Enjoy the ride. 

Kasey Chambers

In what ways has Motherhood changed your outlook on life?

Becoming a mother changed my outlook on life in a few different ways.  Almost opposites actually. On one hand it made me a lot less selfish and made me realise that I was now creating something way bigger than myself and I wanted to do everything I could to honour that role I had taken on and do right by it in every way I could… but on the other side of that it also made me realise that actions speak louder than words and if I wanted to be the best role model I could be for this little person (now three little people) then I had to step up and BE the best person I could be. Which meant – as well as looking after my children and teaching them to live their dreams and put positive into the world – then I had to look after myself, live my dreams and put positive into the world. So I did not give up my career to become a mother – in fact I think I flourished into a better person, musician, songwriter (quite a few sleepless nights to write lots of songs – haha) after I became a mother. I believe whole heartedly that you do not have to choose between yourself and your children – I don’t always get it right but there’s a balance to be found where you can choose both.  I want my kids to learn that you can be many things. You can fill many dreams.

You’ve had a VERY busy career whilst raising kids – how did you manage the juggle?

I’ve had many times in my life where I get the balance wrong of course and I make mistakes but overall I try to not take on the expectations of what general society tells me that I should be as a mother or a women with a career. I like to find my own way. There’s no right or wrong way to do these things. I grew up with a very unconventional childhood literally living a lot of my life around a campfire in the outback of Australia. As an adult I look back and thank my parents for giving me such a unique upbringing that taught me to see the world through different eyes than most kids my age. My choice to have a career blended with motherhood does mean that sometimes I have to sacrifice things on both sides of that are hard but I try to make decisions based on what feels right to me, my lifestyle, my morals, their (my children) needs, my needs and not what society or those quick to judge would tell me to do. No one is walking in my shoes but me. There is not one right way to live a happy life and raise happy children. My way works best for my family. Not perfect but best for us.

What do your usual days look like?

To be honest my life is actually a lot more ‘normal’ than people might think when I’m not on tour.  Mornings are school lunches, unwashed school uniforms getting put back on, mouldy bread in the toaster – haha… During school hours – catching up on washing, cooking food to store in my freezer, learning songs, phone interviews with radio stations where I’m supposed to talk about music but instead I whinge about my kids – haha. After school – skateparks, footy training, beach hangs, (basically anything we can do to put off homework for as long as we can – haha) dinner and bed. Before sleep most nights we list two things each we are grateful for in our lives.  Sometimes my kids list big things like ‘getting to travel the world as a family’ ‘a roof over our head’ and ‘a mum and dad that love me’ and sometimes it’s ‘grape flavoured bubble gum’ and ‘poo pourri so I don’t have to smell my brothers poo’

What is the best part about being a mum?

One of my favourite things about being a mum is that my kids remind me to see the world through the eyes of a child. To live in the moment and simplify things. Our lives as adults these days are pretty damn crazy and busy. Mostly by choice. Sometimes I love to remind myself by watching my children that the world doesn’t have to been seen as crazy as it is every second of the day. Be present. Sometimes just live right here where you are standing and see what is in front of you and the beauty in it. My kids do that naturally and I think I learn from them as much as they learn from me.

What is the most challenging?

Time. Three kids as a single working mum (I have a lot of help from their dads and my family and friends thank god!!) takes up a lot of hours in the day and as much as I have mostly found a balance to make it all work, some days I’m just too damn tired to do another thing and they are lucky to get 2 minute noodles for dinner!! I have realised over the years to just be ok with these days and not pressure myself too much. If I’m too tired to make dinner, if we don’t have time for a bath, if the school note is late to be handed in – the world will NOT STOP SPINNING! Just accept that there’s nothing left in your tank today and get up tomorrow and start fresh.

What advice would you give yourself before having kids from what you know now?

Don’t bother planning what it’s going to be like because it will be NOTHING LIKE THAT! Ha. That’s part of the beauty. You WILL NEVER be a perfect mother. Because there’s no such thing. Just be the best mum you can be and along with all the mistakes you make and all the expectations you don’t meet – give them love. Lots of love. Accept love from them and from those around you. Be honest with yourself and others about how you’re really feeling. Most mums are feeling those same things. Your children don’t need you to be perfect, they just need you to be you.

Helen Janneson Bense

In what ways has Motherhood changed your outlook on life?

Motherhood has given me so many gifts. I’ve learnt to accept and love my body for all it has done to create and nourish two beautiful children, even when there have been so many health challenges. I’m grateful for the way my heart explodes with love every time I think of my kids. I have developed more compassion for myself, my family, our world and every living creature in it. Motherhood has taught me presence, and awakened me to see how much beauty exists all around us. Every day my children show me how to be in the here and now and I experience that pure childlike joy that comes with not thinking of tomorrow or the weight of yesterday.

What is the difference between raising young ones to now raising almost teens?

There is a lot more sleep! Parenting at any stage requires presence and energy and this stage has its challenges for sure. Now that I finally get a good night sleep I really need it to answer the tough questions my children bring forward. They are very aware and switched on so they challenge us a lot as adults to be responsible and accountable and we don’t always have the answers. We spend a lot more time listening and consoling as they de-brief us on the details of their day. We help to provide a safe non-judgemental space for them to reach out and share.

Our biggest goal right now is to keep them off tech devices, social media and group chats even when many of their friends are on it. They are pretty aware of the dangers, so it’s been an easy task so far. Plus they get to spend more time with us and in nature.

You built a business whilst raising Jade and Jacob… how did you juggle it all?

Oh I dropped the ball many times! And I just picked myself up and got back to it. Having a supportive husband like Bobby definitely got me through those early chaotic years. The key for me was not being too hard on myself. If I failed, or couldn’t meet a deadline because the kids or I got sick, then I just accepted that and moved forward. I looked to my community for resources and reached out for help. Having a great team of support was vital.

There was a point though that I got so busy and I realised this wasn’t what I wanted at all. I was compromising too much time with my family, so I scaled my business back to what was manageable, allowing me both the freedom to continue doing what I love, and spend more quality time with my family. Best decision I ever made.

What do your usual days look like?

In between all our travels we are home in Fremantle. We live close to both the beach and the kids new school now, so it’s a quick morning school drop off, followed by emails, meetings, editing, writing, more emails, a quick ocean dip if I’m organised, followed by school pick up. From here I’m either helping with homework, de-briefing the kids on their day, playing taxi driver to gymnastics or football, preparing dinner and always trying to fit in a sunset session, photo-shoot, and date night with Bobby whenever we can.

When we travel, the routine is out the window, and it’s all adventure, exploration, multiple photo-shoots with lots of sunset beach walks. This is usually the time for some long and deep chats with the kids where they have more time to ask us the hard questions.

What is the best part about being a mum?

Watching them grow and learn. They inspire us every day with how innovative and compassionate they are. I love the way they melt my heart with a simple “I love you Mum”

Receiving a million cuddles every day is pretty awesome, especially at bedtime because they still do that whole let’s delay bedtime as long as possible. At the end of the day we feel so lucky our kids still want to hang out with us and we truly hope that never changes.

What is the most challenging?

The fighting between the two of them is definitely most challenging. It drives me crazy, especially when it’s in the car! Sometimes it’s so hard to see yourself in them. It’s not always the traits you want to pass on and the mirror can get so real. Trying to find that little bit of hidden patience and be present for them and listen when you are overworked/sick/exhausted/hormonal and you’re just so tired…or hungry!

What advice would you give yourself before having kids from what you know now?

Never try to resolve a fight when you’re hungry. Breathe, eat first, and then listen. Ask for help and take care of yourself so you can take the very best care of them.

Don’t hold on to mother guilt. You are enough. Trust in your instincts and be confident in that inner knowing to raise your child the way you believe. It’s ok to make mistakes and you don’t need to beat yourself up about it. And what works for one child probably won’t for another.

Keep those connections and conversations going. During these teenage years this is so important, so they know no matter what they have someone they can reach out to. Someone who will allow them the space to speak and just be who they are.

You can follow more of Helen’s story {and travels!} on her blog here

Spelly

In what ways has Motherhood changed your outlook on life? 

It made me reflect on my childhood. Watching the kids go to primary school, has brought back all the memories of when I was there, it made me remember what a glorious time that was. Not a care in the world. It also made me appreciate what my parents did for me, and how they brought up four daughters so well and gave us such an amazing upbringing. becoming a mother and having a family, makes you realise how important family is, and I guess our main focus in life now is making sure our kids get the best love and support growing up and I want to give them the best tools for life so they can have the best happiest and meaningful life that they can have.

You built a business whilst having Tex and Jagger as babies – how did you manage the juggle?  

Both Lizzy and I, thank god, had the most amazing supportive husbands, so that was a huge part in handling “the juggle” without having a breakdown! Ha ha, but yeah I just was in the zone and floated through all the craziness, not getting too stressed or trying to do too much, it is definitely a juggle, and I guess you have to just do a little bit of everything. Being able to take my babies to work was helpful too, Texas would lie on the jewellery table while I made jewellery, and my boys came along on lots of photoshoots, so mixing family and work for the first few years made it doable, also making a few little sacrifices is a must, I’ve missed a few little family moments because of work, but you can’t beat yourself up, you just have to cherish the moments that you are there. I’ve heard that for a lot of mothers, everything happens at once! As soon as a mother gets pregnant, they will open a shop, or start a business… my midwife said it happened every time! I think that’s just how the universe works sometimes, it throws you in the deep end and you just gotta swim! Just remember to swim with a smile!

What do your usual days look like?  

Get up and make lunches, make breakfast, drop the kids off, grab a Sparrow coffee and head to work. Work with my design team all day. Then come home in the arvo and hang with the family, walk down to our beach and play until the sun goes down. Weekends are chilling out… treat ourselves to a breakfast out in town, if it’s a nice day we will hit the beautiful beaches of Byron Bay, we are so lucky to live in a town with so many beautiful beach spots to choose from!